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Joke Of The Day

So anyway did you hear the one about the Texan who wanted to go Grizzly Bear Hunting in Alaska ... ??

When He got there He hired some guides ... they took Him out to the hunting lodge ... and told Him they would go hunting in the morning ...

The Texan said Naw I'ma going right now ....

About thirty minutes later ... the Texan is beating on the front door ... the guides open the door in comes the Texan with a Grizzly behind Him ....

As He opens the back door & runs out ... He say's "Ya'll skin this one I'ma going after another one" ...

Sounds like the old Mountain Man in the film JEREMIAH JOHNSTON.

Cheers from Peter
 
Two blondes are sitting at the bar and the first one says to her girlfriend " Oh my God I think the guy sitting next to me is masturbating "
The second blonde says " Are you sure ?'
The first blonde says " Yeah I'm sure , he's using my hand "
 
A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a house and this little , real little kid answers the door , he's got a cigar in one hand a glass of Scotch in the other and a Playboy under his arm .
The traveling salesman says " EErr , kid are your parents home ? "
The kid answers " Does it look like my fricken parents are home ? "
 
So anyway did you hear the one about the Texan who wanted to go Grizzly Bear Hunting in Alaska ... ??

When He got there He hired some guides ... they took Him out to the hunting lodge ... and told Him they would go hunting in the morning ...

The Texan said Naw I'ma going right now ....

About thirty minutes later ... the Texan is beating on the front door ... the guides open the door in comes the Texan with a Grizzly behind Him ....

As He opens the back door & runs out ... He say's "Ya'll skin this one I'ma going after another one" ...

Sounds like the old Mountain Man in the film JEREMIAH JOHNSTON.

Cheers from Peter

Yeah I told the director that joke and He incorparted in in the film .... Naw My Dad told Me that Joke back in the Sixties .... I guess good Old Jokes never die .... :eek:ldguy
 
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were standing at the base of a flagpole. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed ta find de height of de flagpole," said Boudreaux, "but we don't got a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her packet, took a measurement, announce, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Thibodeaux shook his head and laughed, "Ain't dat just like a dumb blonde. We axe for de height, and she gives us de length."
 
Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.


Cheers,
Rich
 
Boudreaux, a Cajun in his fourth year as a LSU Freshman, sat in his US Government class. The professor asked Boudreaux if he knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Boudreaux pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware. "
 
A priest, a rabbi and a pastor walked into a bar.

The bartender said, "what is this? A Joke?"


What goes Vroom Screech, Vroom Screech, Vroom Screech?
A blonde at a blinking red light

What do you call a percussionist without a girlfriend?
Homeless

The Joint Chiefs of Staff are having a discussion. Each one claiming their enlisted members are the bravest.

The CNO (Chief of Naval Operations) says it is the SEALS and to prove his point he orders a SEAL to bring him the head of the leader of ISIS... A week later it is done

The Army Chief of Staff says it is Delta Force and orders one of them to take out the Kim Jong-un... a week later, done

The AF Chief says I'll show you courage and calls over his clerk and orders a cup of coffee. The clerk says, Get your own damn coffee.
 
Jean Paul Sartre walks into a fish & chip shop. "Cod & chips please" he says.

"Certainly sir. Would you like salt & vinegar on that"? Asks the man behind the counter.

"Mmmmm, I think not" replies Sartre.....and disappears.



Cheers,
Rich
 
Stupid question from me

Wonder woman has power of flight
Why does she have an plane then and not just any old plane but one thats transparent

Might she be dying her hair black?
 
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