Uh...explain this please? Who's commanding a retired sub?
In a moment, all will be clear. Patience, 'Pup. Patience.
We arrived on a beautiful fair-weather day at the Camp Dodge Iowa National Guard base quite early. I was chuffed to see my fieind Bob and didn't want to take a chance on missing him. So we had some time to knock around the museum a bit.
I gave my Sweetie permission to buy an M-14 and an M-79 Blooper should the opprotunity present itself. Yes, the doors on all the vehicles are secured, so old mischief makers cannot play Half-track or Huey.
The cockpit of the A-7E Corsair II had a stern warning for 12-year-olds of all vintages as well.
The Submarine exhibit was well executed! USS Gunard, SSN-662 was the subject of the sail. The Type 18 periscope actually works, even though the search/attack magnification selector was disabled. The range ring was still there, but the bearing ring was absent. Bob tells me they set the height of the eyepiece box is such that kids will easily play with it, but for adults, it becomes less than comfortable in a short time, and he was RIGHT!
The depicted torpedo is closer to the Japanese "Long Lance" than it is to anything in the modern US Navy inventory.
There were a few Iowa-themed model ships about. I think the SSN-797 USS Iowa Virginia-class fast attack boat model deserves an upgrade.
Hot Dog! A simulator! Ok, It's a Lawn Dart (F-16c) but still....) I selected my mission profile, lifted off in full MRT at 160 kts, accelerated, and turned North to attack the mile-long Saylorville bridge. The computer graphics were pretty cool. The buttons on the throttle and stick did actually change the display on the LCD screens, but there was a dearth of shiny, round, gauge-looking things that I am accustomed to.
No time limit was mentioned, but I wanted to hustle up, in case any younger children were waiting for a turn. That and fuel on take-off read 700 pounds (115-some gallons). "I'm already out of fuel."
I planned to swing down low over the lake at 460 kts and shoot up at the bridge, but again, the clock was ticking.
I made a poorly executed 90 degree attack with guns and rockets at 400 kts from 1660 ft. AGL and got a scratch hit for a damage. A REAL Lawn Dart driver would have attacked down the length of the undefended bridge at a much more leisurely airspeed. RTB following my ill executed attack was more leisurely. The rudder pedals were in/op, so use of the yaw axis was not possible. This ain't no Decathlon. It handled like a pig.
My approach to Base was straight in and almost pretty good, but I was high and hot and the runway wasn't moving! HORRORS!!
The turn to base, downwind (no wind!) and final approach would have been wiser, but the F-16 sim only turned well in the nose-down attitude without rudder and I was plainly troubled by this behavior.
My attempt to loop and return to approach failed. I ran out of energy at 5,600 ft. AGL and my Viper fell with all the grace of a dropped sheet of paper, inverted, into the dirt. I could see the upside-down runway, but she just wouldn't roll out, as planned.
"The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your son was killed because he was stupid!" I could hear my Dad laughing at me from the hereafter.
"Bitchin' Betty" never said "Altitude. Altitude" once.
Meet my Friend, Bob Kirby. Bob is a long-time Iowa Submarine Veterans member and good guy. His tales of his Service aboard USS Entemedor, SS-340 and pictures he provided are a large part of what inspired TLAR Models 1/700 Cold War Submarine kit. His GUPPY 1b Boat had to be produced!
https://tlarmodels.com/ols/products/1700-cold-war-us-navy-submarine-set-tlar-models-518b
Whenever an Honor Model is delivered, there are Transfer of Command documents in duplicate to be properly submitted. A short ceremony is also conducted. The signature of 2 witnesses is required. My Sweetie is customarily one of them.
The second witness signatory came from the crew members of SSN-797, USS Iowa. Master Chief Petty Officer Scott Buzzard, the USS Iowa's COB (Chief Of the Boat) was happy to oblige us.
It is with pleasure and pride that I relinquish command of SS-340, USS Entemedor to her new commanding officer. Bob, now you say "I relieve you, Sir."
Bob said "I relieve you, Sir."
"I stand relieved, Sir."
A handshake, a nod, and my little model submarine had a new CO. Much to the admiration and amusement of the assembled US Navy submariners in the room.
The cameraman from News Channel 13 shot a little video because he thought it was cool, but we didn't make the local news broadcast.
The look on my friend's face spoke volumes. "This is the Boat I served on! He made this for me." (700 times smaller, Skipper.) I told him I was going to.
I believe Bob was truly delighted! 3 different molds to convert the horrible ChiCom 3d print, All those painstaking hours getting the GUPPY hull and sail "just so" and making the rectangular hull limber holes just right, like the actual Boat in the picture, every second was worth it!
The Question and Answer session with 7 American and 1 Australian USS Iowa crew members was awesome! It lasted over an hour.
How tall is the sub? (4 levels)
Where does the poop go? (The same place a whale's does)
How many people make up the crew? (135)
Do Fast Attack boat have blue and gold crews, like the Boomers used to? (No.)
How many Heads are there aboard? (7)
USS Iowa is one of two US Navy Virginia-class SSN's with co-ed crew. There are still 'Boat Flicks" games and card games to keep off-duty sailors amused.
The berthing spaces are named after Iowa towns!
If there was any doubt about any question being classified, the COB just grinned a big Pittsburgh grin and didn't answer.
Master Chief Buzzard asked for one of my business cards. "I might want you to make something for the Boat."
This was a VERY COOL way to spend an afternoon!
And we all got a nifty new sticker!
......And now you, know the rest of the story.
The Rhino. Good Day!
Gary S.