As i am now on a VPN i am in Canada....bloody cold here  
		 
		
	 
How's it goin',eh? Now we have to convert you to Canuck b'y.
That sports car will have to be replaced with the biggest pick-me-up truck you can find. Preferably a black 3/4 ton, dually, crew cab, long bed with the biggest turbo charged diesel (in the 6-7 l range) with full off-road package, towing package and all the bells and whistles. The next stop will be to get the black box installed that will pump extra diesel into the engine when you stomp on the accelerator leaving a massive black cloud in the intersection.
Next will be the sports store. Trade in the football cleats and cricket bat and get youself outfitted with the top of the line hockey equipment, don't forget the hockey bag. Carefully stuff your new kit in the bag and throw it in the truck box and head to your favorite clothing store to get a Canadian tuxedo, touque, lumberjack shirt and maybe even a bunny hug. On the way home you can pickup some KD, a poutine, beavertail and a two-four. You may also want to pickup baking soda (at least 2 cups worth), shampoo for oily hair and deodorant soap. These3  items will be important later.
Once home, find a friend, neighbour, or relative that has a pet skunk. Once a skunk has been obtained, stuff it in the hockey bag with the equipment. Once it has thoroughly sprayed the contents of the bag you will have the authentic smell of sweat soaked hockey gear that has never been washed. Return the skunk to the travel kennel and throw the hockey bag in the truck bed and leave it there, you must always be ready for a game of shinny when you drive by an ODR. Fill you bath with hot water, add the baking soda and soak for 15-20 minutes. Rinse off and thoroughly wash everywhere, yes everywhere, with the deodorant soap and your hair with the shampoo. Once again smelling fesh as a lily, return the skunk to the owner. For a real experience, convince a restaurant or supermarket to put your gear in the walk-in freezer overnight. Immediately put the gear on when you pick it up the next day.
You can now sit down on your chesterfield in your bunny hug and sweats to enjoy your KD, poutine, beavertail and two-four as you begin your study of Canadianisms, Newfanese, Quebecois and Frenglish.
On a side note, we had the first -30C this morning at Eureka Weather Station on Ellesmere Island. The last sunset there was on 20 Sep, the next sunrise is 20 Feb.
Good day eh!
RichB