Iron Mike
Master At Arms And Resident Curmudgeon
As sent to me by a fellow modeler.
1. Having sold your firstborn in order to purchase some rare and exotic resin kit you will find, three months later, that someone is doing it in plastic ……. (can you say ‘Comet’????)
2. Any kit coming on the market will be swiftly followed by an Eduard etched set which replaces all the beautifully executed three dimensional plastic details with totally wrong looking two dimensional metal ones.
3. Superglue will stick any detail part to anywhere or anything except the place intended for it.
4. Your Co2 tank or propellant can will expire just before you start on that intricate camouflage scheme leaving you to try and concentrate while some lunatic compressor is hammering away in the background.
5. Having just completed your model to the very best of your ability, you will, 2 weeks later, discover an overlooked photograph proving, beyond any shadow of doubt, that you got the markings wrong.
6. The only decal you will mess up during its application is the one you don’t have any spares of.
7. Any small part picked up with tweezers will immediately fly off in a random direction and end up at least eight feet from where you think it landed.
8. You never have the paint shade you need.
9. When handling a completed model it’s always the part that’s most difficult to reattach you break off first.
10. You will stab yourself with your hobby knife at least once per model.
11. Despite never having handled the model since it was painted you will find an obvious fingerprint in the most prominent place.
12. DML will do every version of the PzKpfw (insert number here) except the one you are desperate to build.
13. The model you order online is
always out of stock.
At least one detail part per model will disappear during the construction phase.
On the Friday evening before the holiday weekend when no shops for 150 miles will be open until Monday, you leave the top off your liquid cement bottle.
No matter what precautions are taken, any model transported to a show will arrive with a part broken.
After eight ’revised’ versions of the Jagdtiger, DML will still have the gun barrel length incorrect.
Your much prized, highly expensive, deluxe sable paintbrush is the one you leave in the waterbowl overnight, forever ruining its fine point.
’Easy assemble tracks’ aren’t.
Someone will come up with another five rules that are much more amusing than these
:drinks
The Rules Of Modeling
1. Having sold your firstborn in order to purchase some rare and exotic resin kit you will find, three months later, that someone is doing it in plastic ……. (can you say ‘Comet’????)
2. Any kit coming on the market will be swiftly followed by an Eduard etched set which replaces all the beautifully executed three dimensional plastic details with totally wrong looking two dimensional metal ones.
3. Superglue will stick any detail part to anywhere or anything except the place intended for it.
4. Your Co2 tank or propellant can will expire just before you start on that intricate camouflage scheme leaving you to try and concentrate while some lunatic compressor is hammering away in the background.
5. Having just completed your model to the very best of your ability, you will, 2 weeks later, discover an overlooked photograph proving, beyond any shadow of doubt, that you got the markings wrong.
6. The only decal you will mess up during its application is the one you don’t have any spares of.
7. Any small part picked up with tweezers will immediately fly off in a random direction and end up at least eight feet from where you think it landed.
8. You never have the paint shade you need.
9. When handling a completed model it’s always the part that’s most difficult to reattach you break off first.
10. You will stab yourself with your hobby knife at least once per model.
11. Despite never having handled the model since it was painted you will find an obvious fingerprint in the most prominent place.
12. DML will do every version of the PzKpfw (insert number here) except the one you are desperate to build.
13. The model you order online is
always out of stock.
At least one detail part per model will disappear during the construction phase.
On the Friday evening before the holiday weekend when no shops for 150 miles will be open until Monday, you leave the top off your liquid cement bottle.
No matter what precautions are taken, any model transported to a show will arrive with a part broken.
After eight ’revised’ versions of the Jagdtiger, DML will still have the gun barrel length incorrect.
Your much prized, highly expensive, deluxe sable paintbrush is the one you leave in the waterbowl overnight, forever ruining its fine point.
’Easy assemble tracks’ aren’t.
Someone will come up with another five rules that are much more amusing than these
:drinks
